I just ran across a blog devoted entirely to the story of a woman who passed away from breast cancer. I spent the last hour or two eating up every word that was written only to get through her stint in hospice and her eventual passing. Everything I read was so reminiscent of what my family went through with my mom that I spent the last hour (if not more) reading through tear veiled eyes. It has officially been two months and two days since my mom passed. I miss her more and more every day. I don't know why I torture myself with blogs such as the aforementioned. Last week I spent I don't know how many hours sitting on the floor in the middle of the self-help section at Barnes and Noble reading a book about why daughters need their mothers. I'm sure passers-by thought that the crazy crying girl needed much more than just the self-help section of a book store.
I'm headed out of state for a long weekend. This is my first vacation from all the little reminders and moments that break me down to a sobbing mess. Fingers crossed. Let's make this a good one.
2 comments:
I hope you have a great weekend, dear.
Hugs to you.
I think (hope) this behavior is totally normal. Months after my miscarriage I listened to a song a mother sings to her child over and over and over again, sobbing. I, too, would seek out miscarriage websites, stories and blogs just to cry and cry. Do you really think it's torture? While it's difficult, I seek out this stuff when I need it because it makes me feel understood, less alone, and most importantly - it helps me cry when I spend a lot of my time with my grief bottled up.
Of course, I'm not you and our experiences are different, but I just wanted to share that I do it too.
Post a Comment