10 Randoms

I stole this from a Facebook friend who stole it from another. I'm sure it wouldn't have been hard to come up with this on my own. You never know though, I could have been the inventor of "22 Random Things About Me." It's all in the number people.

Let's begin:

1. I hold my breath when I pee. This only becomes a problem when I haven't had bathroom access for a while and the length of time it takes to pee exceeds the length of time I am able to hold my breath. I have to stop, breathe, and only then can I continue.

2. I snooze my alarm for a minimum of 30 minutes before I am able to get out of bed. Bridge Man truly appreciates this one.

3. After moving back to the states from Japan people would ask how fluently I could speak the language. I would be honest and tell them I knew very little. But then I would be dishonest and tell them I knew how to say one curse word. I had my entire fourth grade class saying "mi-sho-sho" by the end of the year. I won't tell you what it meant but know that it is total gibberish.

4. I have the feet of Fred Flintstone. I've shared this with you in the past but thought I'd prove it to those disbelievers out there.

I also thought I'd prove to you that I'm not the only one who has these feet. Those with feet in the photo will love me for making this public because they don't seem to be as proud as I am.

5. I am a product whore. I own more lotions, potions, and products than a woman should. Most of them go unused or partially used but I absolutely cannot throw them out. I just might use them again, some day. I've been doing better with this addiction though. I've been forcing myself to use what I have before I buy more. This revelation came to me when I was organizing my products and realized that I have enough lipstick, lip gloss, chap stick, etc., etc. to fill a bucket and enough lotions and perfume-type things to fill a duffel bag. Don't judge.

6. I don't read as much as I used to back in the day. When my sister, Bear, and I were younger we used to race books to see who could finish the fastest. In the winter, when there was nothing else to do, I could sail through eight or nine Nancy Drew books in a day. I read the entire series "The Chronicles of Narnia" before it was trendy, sailed through "The Baby Sitter's Club," and had every Beverly Cleary book read before I was eight years old.

7. I like to sing show tunes while washing the dishes. In the shower I sing 80's pop songs. Each genre has its place on my chore list.

8. I like to make up names for cars that I own and ones in which I spend a lot of time. I drive a red Dodge Stratus RT, her name is Red Betty. Bridge Man used to drive a blue Dodge Dakota, she was Big Blue. Since he bought his Jeep, I've yet to come up with a good name. I mentioned Hi-ho Silver but it never stuck. Any suggestions?

9. I get bored with my hair very quickly. I can't understand how someone can live with one hair cut/color for years and years.

10. It's really hard to come up with all these random things about myself. The list I stole from my Facebook friend was originally "16 Random Things About Me." I made the appropriate adjustments.

Crap-tastic

Bridge Man and I have always lived fairly modestly. I've held off buying those 200 dollar boots until I make it big as a stylist to the stars or Bridge Man designs the next Golden Gate Bridge and makes his first million. Be that as it may, we do have our extravagances. For my husband, it is the cable box on the television and for me, it's the Internet. Super-duper fancy, right? Back in the day when I lost my job to the beginning of this fantastic economic crisis, we had a conversation about cutting back expenses. As you can probably guess, my Bridge guy was willing to give up the Internet without the blink of an eyelash and I, the TV. Who needs 80 channels anyway? In the end, no conclusion was made and we kept both. After all, after about a month or so I found another job and all was not lost.

Our poor city is under a monopoly by this cable giant who goes by the name of *Comcrap. Long story short, in a period of about two months or so, we have had to contact said Internet/cable provider for a problem with the service. Each call becomes a 40-50 minute ordeal. First there is the automated voice, of whom I've become very familiar, then there is the hold message that insists how important my call is to them and pleads for me to wait a few more minutes, then, after 35+ minutes I am patched through to a customer service representative who is unfortunately unable to answer my question but can put me through to someone who can.

Then you wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And then, a second automated voice pipes up and states that an appointment has been made for you for the next business day between the hours of 8am and 4 pm.

This is all well and good except for the small fact that both Bridge Man and I have to work the next business day between the hours of 8am and 4pm.

For the last three weeks or so we have been suffering with patchy cable and a digital box that pops up on the screen with random letters and numbers at will. As for the Internet, it has been totally MIA. I've come to the end of my rope and would like to cancel both services. However, that means sitting on the phone for another 30-40 minutes to complete this simple task. You can see my predicament.

Thus the reason I sit here soaking in the free Wifi that Panera Bread so generously offers poor patrons such as myself. This is the first time I've been on the world wide web since Christmas. Oh, woe is me.For this reason, my dear reader, I cannot guarantee a quick return to this blog. I hope to be back within the week. Bridge Man and I are looking into getting a mobile access card.

P.S. While this is unfortunate, it couldn't have come at a better time. In two weeks I take my state board test to get my license as a cosmetologist. I can use this free time to study like a good little student. Wish me luck!

* This is the name I came up with for this company after the fourth time I sat on the phone, on hold for 35 minutes.