Tomorrow is one of those can't-get-out-of-my head type days. It's like anticipating a holiday or anniversary but without the excitement. The anticipation is more about the unknown. I don't know if I'll be a sobbing mess or if I'll be able to plaster on a cheesy smile and sail through the day. Tomorrow marks the 365th day since my mom passed away. What makes this day verses any other different is beyond me. I continue to mourn her death no matter what day of the week. It seems almost morbid to mark tomorrow as an anniversary because the word is associated with positive things, a first date, a first kiss, a wedding. Unfortunately, the date brings with it words I haven't been able to get out of my mind for the last month, "At this time last year I was..." And for the last month that phrase ended with, counting respirations, administering morphine, dressing wounds and telling my sweet, sweet mother how much I love her for the last time.
This last month has been a roller coaster of emotions. At one minute I'm smiling and laughing with friends, the next minute I'm sitting silently in a blank daze, and the next I'm fighting to hold back tears that are taking over. Those closest to me were warned from the beginning and have been more than understanding. It seems impossible that I just made it through one year without someone who was, for so long, involved 100% in my life as I was in hers. It seems impossible that I am to continue for the next years without her. That any future children I have will not know how wonderful she was. Sure, I can tell stories but they will never know her voice, her touch, her personality.
People called her stubborn. I call it strong. She fought her disease for two years as a single mother of five children and one grandchild. She worked a job until the day she went into the hospital for her final surgery. And when the doctor called me that night to tell me she had two days to live, she fought for two weeks. Two weeks that allowed us to talk, laugh, cry, and be a family. Two weeks for her to make sure she had taken care of everything and that her children would be OK when she was gone. She did her job. We are OK.
29 November 2008
06 November 2008
Call to duty
Hello friends.
As you know by now, I lost my best friend and mom to cancer last year. The last few months leading up to the one year mark have been very emotional for me. At this time last year, one of the things that helped me to get through this difficult time were the cards and good wishes that were sent my way.
This is where I ask a favor of you. A little boy, Evan Hoffman, I had the pleasure of meeting three years ago was diagnosed this last June with Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of cancer of the soft tissue. He is currently battling this with 52 weeks of chemotherapy. As you might expect, he is unable to attend his 6th grade classes, go outside, or spend time with his friends and extended family.
Recently, Evan was given a map of the world and some push pins. For each card/message he receives he puts one pin on the map to represent the place from which the message came. The outpouring of responses have been phenomenal but it wouldn't hurt for him to get more. Please consider taking the time to write a note on the website for this wonderful little dude. He deserves all the support we can muster.
Thanks,
Xteener
As you know by now, I lost my best friend and mom to cancer last year. The last few months leading up to the one year mark have been very emotional for me. At this time last year, one of the things that helped me to get through this difficult time were the cards and good wishes that were sent my way.
This is where I ask a favor of you. A little boy, Evan Hoffman, I had the pleasure of meeting three years ago was diagnosed this last June with Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of cancer of the soft tissue. He is currently battling this with 52 weeks of chemotherapy. As you might expect, he is unable to attend his 6th grade classes, go outside, or spend time with his friends and extended family.
Recently, Evan was given a map of the world and some push pins. For each card/message he receives he puts one pin on the map to represent the place from which the message came. The outpouring of responses have been phenomenal but it wouldn't hurt for him to get more. Please consider taking the time to write a note on the website for this wonderful little dude. He deserves all the support we can muster.
Thanks,
Xteener
05 November 2008
Buggers
While today was an all-in-all good day (Yay, OBAMA! & some other things that require far too much explanation, but good nonetheless) I would like to share with you a few things that drive me up the wall in a Trainspotting kind of way.
- Bad grammar* - let me give you an example of something I hear FAR too often.
"I seen that car drive through the red light." GAH! It pains me to even write those words down in that order. Since when are the words 'seen' and 'saw' interchangeable?
- Bad driving - From my first day in Springfield, I noticed one thing that most Springfieldians failed to learn in drivers ed. Turning into your own lane. It happens so much that most (99%) drivers will yield to those turning into the wrong lane as if it's common practice. Let me draw you a picture.
Oh how I love Photoshop. So, with this professionally, detailed picture I drew for you readers, you'll see what I mean. The black car is waiting patiently for the red car to turn into the far lane before the black car will even consider turning. This will take place as if there is nothing wrong. It would be far more efficient for each car to turn into their own lane, yes?
- More bad grammar - In the infamous words of Ross Geller (Season 4, The One With The Jellyfish), "Y-o-u'r-e means 'you are. Y-o-u-r means your!" The same goes for 'they're' and 'there.'
There, I've said my peace.
*Yes, I don't always have perfect grammar, in fact I'm sure there are a few typos throughout this post alone. I'm just saying.
- Bad grammar* - let me give you an example of something I hear FAR too often.
"I seen that car drive through the red light." GAH! It pains me to even write those words down in that order. Since when are the words 'seen' and 'saw' interchangeable?
- Bad driving - From my first day in Springfield, I noticed one thing that most Springfieldians failed to learn in drivers ed. Turning into your own lane. It happens so much that most (99%) drivers will yield to those turning into the wrong lane as if it's common practice. Let me draw you a picture.
Oh how I love Photoshop. So, with this professionally, detailed picture I drew for you readers, you'll see what I mean. The black car is waiting patiently for the red car to turn into the far lane before the black car will even consider turning. This will take place as if there is nothing wrong. It would be far more efficient for each car to turn into their own lane, yes?
- More bad grammar - In the infamous words of Ross Geller (Season 4, The One With The Jellyfish), "Y-o-u'r-e means 'you are. Y-o-u-r means your!" The same goes for 'they're' and 'there.'
There, I've said my peace.
*Yes, I don't always have perfect grammar, in fact I'm sure there are a few typos throughout this post alone. I'm just saying.
04 November 2008
Happy Election Day
It all started two years ago. Temperatures were below freezing and yet Bridge Man and I trekked our way through thousands of people to see this:
I am proud to be able to tell my great great grandchildren that I was there the very first time Obama announced his candidacy for president. I WAS THERE! Yes, it took my toes over an hour to thaw from standing outside on that February day in Illinois, but it was oh, SO worth it.
And now we have come full circle, dudes and dudettes. It's election day, and guess what I did.
I got a hair cut! Oh, yeah, and I voted. How fabulous is that?
Go out and do your American duties people. Al the cool kids are doing it.
I am proud to be able to tell my great great grandchildren that I was there the very first time Obama announced his candidacy for president. I WAS THERE! Yes, it took my toes over an hour to thaw from standing outside on that February day in Illinois, but it was oh, SO worth it.
And now we have come full circle, dudes and dudettes. It's election day, and guess what I did.
I got a hair cut! Oh, yeah, and I voted. How fabulous is that?
Go out and do your American duties people. Al the cool kids are doing it.
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