09 January 2008

Teeny Violins and a Theme

How did everyone like the first installment of Bridge Man’s ramblings? I asked him to write something because 1)his political rants rival those of Keith Olbermann and 2)I’m trying to avoid any more Debbie Downer type blogs. And so, for this reason, I will avoid telling you about how I got “let go” from my job at the ad agency. I won't talk about how freaking pathetic the job hunt has been going. I’ll refrain from mentioning the awfulness that was the entire month of November. And I refuse to complain about the fact that I can’t seem to sleep for more than three hours at a time. I just won't do it.

If you listen closely, you can hear a teeny, tiny violin in the background playing a sad, sad song just for me.

What have I been doing with all of my new found, jobless free time? Well, my short attention span leads me to abandon the monotony that is job hunting after a few short hours. But, let no one say that I’m sitting on my bootay, couch potato style.

This was Mohawk Day.

I promise, Bridge Man does not always look like that. I think some of the mousse and hair spray seeped into his head giving him a temporary Rob Zombie persona. (I was going to link a picture of Mr. Zombie here but, dang, he is seriously a scary looking fella. You may Google him if you choose but don't say I didn't warn you.)

This was Cigar Day.

This all started when J and I were watching an episode of Friends. You know, the one where Joey and Chandler want to be just like Richard so Chandler grows a moustache and Joey starts smoking cigars. I believe our conversation went something like this:

Mmmmm, cigars smells so good!

Oh, I know.

I wonder if they taste as good as they smell.

Where do you even buy cigars?

Anywhere. The gas station, the grocery store, the liquor store.

Let's go get some.

(Laughter followed by a long silence.)

Are you serious?

I'm betting you can guess where this is going. That's right ladies and gentlemen, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I smoked a cigar. And what did I learn? Cigars do NOT taste as good as they smell. Not even the flavored ones. We were (hacking and coughing) giggling so much it was ridiculous. We then made a mad dash to the bathroom to brush and gargle away the awful dirt taste the vanilla flavored stogies left behind.

(You'll have to pardon my awful hair, I thought I'd give it a break after the beating it took on Mohawk Day.)

The last theme day I have for your enjoyment was Cooking Day. Now when I say "cooking," this does not mean gourmet. Oh, no. This simply means that I cook actual food on that day. My recipe of choice, Black Bean Wraps.

They tasted like wonderful wrapped up beanie goodness. And they're healthy too. This was the final presentation:

Notice how there is nothing else on the plate? My menus rarely include side dishes. I always forget to plan that part of the meal. So I usually end up opening up some canned fruit and slopping it onto a plate. Bon appetite!

The plan is to continue to make up theme days to occupy my time. Who needs a job, health insurance, or a retirement plan anyway?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So many things.

1) I confess to a LOVE for Keith Olbermann. Big, all-out, even-told-my-husband-about-it love. I heart sass.

2) Your black bean wrap looks awesome. Did it taste good?

3) I also forget side dishes. Always.

4) You're, like, a total dude for smoking that cigar. I'm chicken, but you? You command respect. And I'm beginning to think you are actually an undercover mafia informant.

Xteener said...

Teej: I too love Keith Olbermann. I especially love when it's time for a special comment... cuz I know someone is going to get a verbal beating.

The black bean wraps are quite tasty and easy to make.

That cigar was the first thing I've ever smoked... never again.

Librarian Girl said...

I always suspected that cigars would taste assy, but now you have confirmed it. So now I won't have to wonder so hard that I try it for myself. And for that I thank you.

That burrito photo made me hungry.