I am a member of two online social networks where thousands flock to get a daily dose of creeping on the people they don’t really know. Before I was hip to the crazies out there, my profiles were open for everyone and their brother to see. Almost daily I would get a message or a friend invite from someone named Tiffany or Bunny who proudly parade pictures of themselves in negligees for all to see. I eventually wised up to this and made every online profile I’ve created as private as private can be. Now the only people who can creep on me are those that I choose. It’s amazing the relationships that have rekindled from these networks. I can now have daily conversations with people that I haven’t seen or heard from in years.
Lately, it seems like I’ve been catching up with a lot of people from high school. It’s like an online class reunion. This person now lives in Colorado. That person moved to California right after college. So-and-so works for a huge conglomerate in NYC. And what’s-his-face is moving to Texas in a few months. After hearing their stories I can’t help but be jealous. How did they manage to remove themselves from central Illinois?
I had a conversation with one of my closest friends, J, recently:
J: I have to go to St. Louis soon to check out everything with the Navy.
Me: So you’re really going to do the Navy thing?
J: I don’t know. I want to keep my options open.
Me: What are your other options?
J: I want to move to Colorado.
Me: You suck. I don’t even have the option of leaving this hole.
J: Yea, it’s nice.
It’s not that I don’t like life in Corn Country. My nuclear family lives here, I enjoy changes in the seasons (to an extent), my man (Bridge Man) and his family live here, and… well, that’s about it. Those are the reasons I’m staying.
More specifically:
- Bridge Man doesn’t want to move too far away from his family.
- My mom is not in the best of health and I want to be near her for anything that she needs.
- My nephew is only 2 years old and I don’t want to miss these vital, growing-up years. He needs to know his Aunt Xteener.
Yet, there are so many other reasons for me to leave. I could get a different, better, and a more rewarding job anywhere my heart desires. I want to experience different things and people and cultures. I want to have these experiences under my belt before I finally decide to settle down. I even have a mental list of all the places I want to live.
Yes, my reasons are selfish. I understand this. But what’s a girl to do?
No, really… what should I do?
3 comments:
Ok, here is my total non-helpful answer. Staying near all your homies makes so much sense to me. The people you love are so important. But, at the same time, no matter where you move, you'll make new homies, who you'll love like crazy too. This is how I feel about my hometown. I love it so much and miss it so much it hurts. But if I moved back there, I would miss my life here so much it hurts too.
Told you it was not helpful. Except maybe for the fact that I feel what you are saying. Totally.
There's nothing selfish about asking yourself what you want to get out of life and then deciding to get it. Maybe the answer to that question will lead you to new places and adventures. Maybe it will keep you where you are. But no matter what you decide today, you can always decide something different tomorrow.
But LG is right. I have moved so many times that I have loved ones all over the country, some in other countries, and I have hated leaving them every time. But they totally enrich my life, and the next place I go, there are people I will grow to love.
I guess you can safely chalk up two answers in the "not helpful" category.
Perhaps you could spend a small amount of time away. I don't know where you're at in life but you could study abroad, do an internship, or just move a little bit.
I don't think you're being selfish at all. My time in other countries (even if it was only a week or two) and especially my 4 months in San Francisco are hugely important to me. It's amazing what you learn about yourself when you're in a totally new environment, surrounded by strangers. Suddenly you discover you can do things you never knew you could, you believe something, understand something or appreciate something like you never did before. And you get an excellent understanding of how people view Midwesterners and/or Americans (the true, false, good and bad)
All the thousands of dollars I've spent traveling are worth it. I'm a better person and world citizen because of it. That's not selfish.
Although, I did always come home. I love the seasons, my family, my job, ect. So go for a bit and then come back. That's what I say. :)
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